The Bejeweled Clarinetist

Apparently Bambi and Thumper do exist and these picture were taken in Albert, Canada. So cute.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never say it's not quite as good as his mother's...

 
… adopt a dog.

If you want someone who's always willing to go out with you, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want…

… adopt a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies…

… then adopt a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores…

 

…then, yup, adopt a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of his attention, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually…

.. . . Then adopt a dog!

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who never responds when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness…

 
… then adopt a cat!

Now be honest; you thought I was gonna say a man, didn't you?

More wonderfulness at http://wondermark.com/429/.

Apparently the American Medical Association has weighed in on Obama’s Nationalized Health Care Plan

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said,"Oh, Grow Up." 

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. 

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter." The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the asses in Washington.